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Working on myself
What up dudes ✌️
This is my first time writing something on here so sorry if it's incoherent and I ramble a bit 😅
I am a fit dude, and have worked hard for many years to look good. I also eat healthy and take great care what I put into my body. Here's my problem though. I think ive become too obsessed with my health. Like, I can't eat something with sugar in it without feeling guilty and I have to justify the consumption of treats like that by exercising. I've only really done work on my external appearance too, and my mental state is really bad. I try the "fake it till you make it" mantra to have a happy, chill vibe, but little things people around me do that get on my nerves have just been setting me off lately, and I'm sick of hurting those close to me with my reactions. My self esteem and happiness has been really low for a number of years as well, and I'm afraid of failing and letting people down, which has affected my schooling and a few relationships. Do you guys have any tips on working on yourself and gaining confidence, as I am sick of hurting those around me with my mental struggles. Anything is much appreashed, and I can't wait to hear what y'all have to say 🤘
Comments
Hey @Fern_Mink 😊
Welcome to the community! And thank you so much for sharing how you're feeling at the moment. I know it can be a bit daunting to post for the first time, so well done for reaching out for some support.
It sounds like there's a few things going on for you just now, so let's start with how you're feeling about your body. I think first of all it's really comendable that you've been able to recognise that your current relationship with food and exercise might not be the best for you. I'm wondering if you know why you feel so much pressure to look a certain way or feel guilty about eating certain foods? We have some really good articles about body image that you might want to have a read through and these community posts (here and here) might help you explore how you're feeling a bit more too.
I think the 'fake it to you make it' vibe can definitely work in some situations! But as you say, when things are starting to get to us and it's having an effect on those around us, it's probably a good idea to look into our behaviours a bit more. Again, really awesome to see you recognising that and looking to make a change 👏 You've mentioned having mental struggles, is that anything specific or generally feeling low?
When you talk about wanting to gain more self-confidence, what do you think that would look like for you?
Thanks for the reply and advice @Iona_RO . In regards to looking a certain way, I used to get bullied in primary school for being "fat" from all my friends, although it was like little boy chub before you grow. That was pretty gnarly and I like wouldn't eat, got really depressed and thought about suicide. I got counseling and got into exercise, which both saved my life I think. I believe that answers the mental struggles too 🙂
I think in regards to confidence and what it would look like for me, it would have to be being able to make the first move in starting conversations, and not caring what other people think so much 🙂
Again, thankyou for the reply and I'll check those articles out 🤙
Hi there @Fern_Mink 👋
I'm so sorry to read that you've been through such rough times in life. School can be so brutal, and those cruel words can be hard to forget, right?
It sounds like you worked super hard to look after yourself and move on from the depression and suicidal thoughts. How do you cope with that these days?
Pretty good 👍 I spose I still have like.... Traces of depression and anxiety but it's no where near as bad as it used to be and I haven't been suicidal for a few years now :). If I do feel depressed or anxious or anything, I usually meditate or do a simple exercise like pushups or go for a run 🙂
Hi @Fern_Mink, that is so good to hear that even though you still have traces of depression and anxiety, you haven't been suicidal for a few years now. That is huge! I also want to say well done on coming up with a few helpful strategies for when you're not feeling great. I think it's certainly worth acknowledging how hard you've worked and just how far you've come. While it may not feel like it, it really is such a big achievement. So what kind of things do you do to reward yourself and remind yourself just how well you're going?
Thankyou 🙂
I try to be grateful for everything I have, and try to realise how lucky I am compared to others. I haven't really thought about rewarding myself sorry.
I think that's really lovely to hear @Fern_Mink. It's really important to reflect and acknowledge all the effort we've put in to something as it can build our self-image and therefore give us the confidence to keep trying.
I noticed in your original post that you were looking for tips to work on and build your confidence. We actually have a couple of articles that may be worth a read, one being on How to build self-confidence and the other on Ways to feel better about ourselves. I found both articles helpful when I was struggling with my own self-image so I'd be interested in hearing if you find them helpful at all.
We're all here for you 💜
Cheers man 🙂
Thanks for the articles, I gave them a read and I agree. There's some very helpful stuff in there. One thing I think I will try and do is write a list of my achievements, so whenever I feel down or like I haven't accomplished anything I can look back on it.
Again, thanks a lot for the articles 😁