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Portia_RO
Star contributor

Hey everyone! Before we get started tonight, I wanted to flag that money can be a pretty tricky and sometimes sensitive topic for some of us. The stress of being in a financial jam can be all-encompassing, and can cut us off not just from the things we value, but from the fundamental things that we need to survive, like a warm meal and a place to stay. 

 

If you're struggling with money, please know that you're not alone and that help is available. Tonight we'll be discussing money in terms of how it relates to our wellbeing, but if you need some more specific help to manage your money and some tangible advice on how to manage financial hardship, feel free to check out the links below:

 

 

While we can't offer you any specific financial advice, we are always here to listen, so feel free to reach out and let us know if you're in a tough spot and you need some support to cope 💙

Okay, so let's get started! Tonight, we'll be diving into Thornton's experience of trying to save some money while living at home, as well as my own story of managing money since moving out of home. To start off, here's a little bit about Thornton:

 

"Hi there, my name is Thornton and I am 21 years old. 

I have always been a hard worker and very driven to reach my goals (whatever they are at the time). I love to spend time with the people I care about, binge watch TV shows and eat lots of different foods (sushi is my favourite!). 

 

In my spare time, I love taking my dog, Buddy, on walks. We go to the beach and grab coffee together. I value time with my friends endlessly but also really enjoy my alone time (pamper nights are my favourite!). I am still figuring out my passions in life however, I do know that I want to be a very successful and a happy adult who is proud of what I have achieved. I work for a solar software company, as a sales manager. Something I never thought I would be doing, but absolutely love it! 

 

This is my Buddy, he loves to join me at work!"

 

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What are your financial goals right now? Are you saving up for anything in particular?

 

"Currently, I am saving to buy my first apartment. I have always wanted to own my own place and I know that if I work hard now, it will pay off in the long run. It is a very exciting goal for me to have and I am enjoying the process."

 

What kind of things help you to save money?

 

"I still live at home, which I know greatly contributes to my ability to save as much as I do each month. However, I know this isn’t possible for everyone. When I first started thinking about saving for an apartment, I sat down and worked out a plan - a realistic plan that allowed me to save whilst still enjoying my life. I have multiple accounts; one for my monthly spending, one for saving, one for my car (where I pay off the car loan, insurance etc.) and a smaller savings account (where I put small amounts of money in each month, to pay for trips away with friends and family, to spend on a pair of shoes I’ve had my eyes on, etc.)."

 

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What kind of things get in the way of saving or make it difficult for you to save money?

 

"About a year ago I decided to myself a car. Now, I pay monthly car loans, trips to the mechanic and insurance. However, as I have all my split accounts where I put a certain amount of money in each month, I find it much easier to save and still pay off these bills. This is because, when the time comes to pay for insurance, the money is in that account and I don’t have to stress over dipping into my savings. 

 

I also have a dog, he doesn’t cost much, but occasionally there are vet bills and he obviously needs food and haircuts. So I do the exact same thing, put a very small amount of money in an account designated for him. I can’t touch this money for anything else. I put in a little bit each month (depending on how low the account is looking), it’s such a small amount that I don’t even notice, which makes things a lot easier."

Do you still get to have a fun social life and buy things for yourself when you’re saving?

 

"Absolutely! When I first left high-school, I went straight into full-time work and I tried to save like crazy! I thought that if I saved almost all of my paycheck, that that would be the smartest move and I would end up with a whole pile of money. However, over time, I learnt that this wasn’t the way to go. I was restricting myself, having no fun, which led to me dipping into my savings account to have dinner with friends, go on little weekends away, buy some clothes. This not only made me feel guilty for letting the savings go down, but I managed to spend more money compared to if I had just done what I do now, where I allow myself to have fun and be young as well as reaching a goal. I had to come to terms with the idea that it is okay to take a little extra time  when saving, as I would be more likely to stay motivated and happy in the process."

 

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This is very real for me at the moment! I have money that I'm not touching because I'm keeping it there for a holiday at the end of the year, but I'm beating myself up for using up the money that isn't in that savings account, when... the purpose of the account is to let me use the rest 🙃 It's silly and life gets in the way!

I hear you @StormySeas17 , sometimes I feel like if I don't touch that extra money, I could be saving more...but then I'm stuck with no money to do the things I enjoy doing! It's can be really hard to break free of that guilt and to feel worthy of spending a bit of money on yourself, but it also feels so nice to buy something you really want and to know that you aren't breaking the bank by treating yourself. Where are you planning on going on your holiday? That sounds really exciting! 

 

@Portia_RO I loved reading your perspective on saving too! It's funny how there seems to be a tense relationship between saving and sanity 😆 I definitely have had to evaluate some of my spending while I'm working less this year- luckily I went on a huge spending spree last year with embroidery projects so I have a nice backlog, plus creative writing is a cheap hobby! I desperately wanted to go to Canada on exchange in 2020 and that never happened, so I'm hoping in November or December when I graduate I can go, visit a friend who lives in the US and go there and to New York City too! I'm lucky because I have all of that exchange savings I set aside, but also I cannot risk being silly with my finances because I'm working less and that's all I've got!

What motivates you to keep saving?

 

"I am fortunate to have always had a saving mindset. Seeing my savings account go up each month gives so much joy. However, it isn’t always easy, especially when you don’t have a goal. 

 

I always make sure I have a goal. Now, this goal doesn’t have to be huge like “I want to buy a house in 2 years”. They can be small goals. For example, when I don’t have anything big I am saving for at the time, I set goals like; “I can buy those new sneakers if I have saved any extra money on top of the agreed savings amount each month” or “If I am able to save an extra few bucks this month (on top of agreed savings amount) I will treat myself to sushi this Friday”. Keep it simple, but always reward yourself for reaching your goal. The trick is not to reward yourself by spending what you have saved, unless of course it is for a car, or holiday, or in my case, an apartment, but to set aside a little bit extra for yourself. 

 

Note; the “agreed savings amount” is the amount that I decide I will put in my account, no matter what, each month when I get paid. This is a fixed amount, which I personally try not to stray from. This keeps me in check and makes sure that I am always focused and accountable for my savings. If I can’t afford something, as I have spent my allocated spending money that month, then it will have to wait. I like to pretend my savings doesn’t exist - if you are realistically saving, then you won't need to pull out of your savings account too much (if everything goes to plan)."

 

What kind of things do you do to reward yourself when you’re doing a good job of saving?

 

"I try to reward myself with things that aren’t going to cost me money or aren’t super expensive e.g. going to my favourite beach, Uber eats on a Friday, going to the movies, getting my nails done. These are things that bring me joy and can be motivation for me to save. However, they don’t cost the world. It is so important that you reward yourself. Otherwise, saving seems like a chore and giving up becomes so much easier."

 

Sometimes it’s difficult to strike a balance between saving and spending, between saving for your ‘needs’ and indulging your ‘wants’. What ‘wants’ are non-negotiable for you that you still spend money on even when you’re saving?

 

"As I said, in the past, my allocated spending money each month was next to nothing. Now, I make sure I always have a decent amount in that account to enjoy my life! I believe wants in life are just as important as needs. Some of my wants are dinners with friends, or buying myself new clothes (I LOVE buying new clothes). It is easy to get carried away with saving and feel like the more you save now the more you’ll have later. But just like anything, you have to make it a lifestyle. If saving becomes a chore, that is because you aren’t making room for your wants. You earn money to enjoy your life so it is important that you have a decent spending account so you can go to that concert or have a nice pub dinner with friends. However, you also have to remember that when saving, unfortunately you can’t do everything! I like to go out, but if I have spent too much on dinners in a month then maybe my friends and I will stay in, watch a movie instead of spending a huge amount on a going out."

What advice would you give to young people who are trying to save money to move out of home?

 

"My advice would be to sit down one night, look at what you earn each paycheck and divide it up into separate accounts or 'expenses'. One might be for savings, one for spending, one for other expenses, one for future rent, etc. When you divide it up, things in your head start to look clearer and easier to manage. I would also tell you, not to over-save or be hard on yourself. If you want to move out, that is fantastic! But remember, if it takes you an extra few months than planned, that is ok!! As long as you stick to a plan whilst still enjoying your life, you will get there! I am still saving for this apartment. The plan for me was to have the money by the end of 2022. At this point, it does not look like I will reach that timeframe (as I have had to amend my fixed monthly savings amount for a few different reasons). However, that is alright!! I will get there, it might just be the middle of 2023 instead. The same goes for you. If you have a goal and a realistic plan to reach that goal, you are far ahead of many people." 

 

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cloudgreen
Super frequent scribe

I have loved reading this post! I sometimes let the thought of money and savings get the better of me and my mental health. I found it super interesting and informative to hear Thornton's tips and advice, as well as hearing that I am not the only one who feels guilty about spending money sometimes. As someone who works and studies, I can agree that trying to build savings can be tricky, but the mental challenges can be even tricker to overcome at times - but it's a work in progress 🤗

So glad you've found it helpful @cloudgreen! You're definitely not alone in feeling guilty about money, there's something odd about spending money on myself that makes me feel like I've done something wrong, but I'm battling against it because I know I deserve to be happy and spoil myself here and there. Work and study can be a really tough combo, I've been there myself and it's a real balancing act. How do you manage studying while also trying to make time for work? 

cloudgreen
Super frequent scribe

I definitely think planning and prioritising my time has been crucial in me being able to effectively manage both uni and work. I was able to take last week off work for exams and I am so glad I did, sometimes one has to take priority over the other and I am fortune enough that I can afford to take a week off work 😄

Now, onto my story! My experience with money has been a little bit different. In 2016, I finished high school, and within a month, I had moved from my rural country town to a big city so that I could start uni straight away. This meant moving out of home, which was a huge step both personally and financially. For the first time, it actually mattered if I saved money or not...I had rent to pay, bills turning up in the mail, and a fridge that I had to fill myself. It was a scary thing at first, but now that I've been practicing for a few years, I think I'm finally getting the hang of managing my own money. 

What are your financial goals right now? Are you saving up for anything in
particular?

 

At the moment, I’m trying to save up enough money to move in with my partner at the end of next year. We are planning on renting a place together, so I’d like to have enough money to cover our bond and a few months worth of rent just to feel secure. I’m planning on going back to uni next year to do my Masters in Clinical Psychology, so I’d also like to have a good chunk of money in savings so that I’m not stressed out if I don’t have as much time to do paid work.

 

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cloudgreen
Super frequent scribe

Thats so exciting that you are moving into a place with your partner at the end of the year! Also very exciting that you plan on completing your Masters of Clinical Psychology, I am about to graduate my Undergrad, and completing a Masters is definetly in my near future tooNickelodeon Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants

Fingers crossed we get there! I'm on track to have enough money to move in with her at the end of the year, but she's struggling a little because she's studying full-time and has to shove work into her schedule around classes and assignments (I'm sure you know the feeling!). That's so exciting that you're about to graduate!! How awesome, all of your hard work has led up to thisamazing achievement so I hope you enjoy the feeling of finishing your degree, you've earned it 🥳

What kind of things help you to save?

 

Even though I live out of home, I’m still able to save some money here and there. Once I’ve covered the cost of rent, groceries, and bills, that gives me some money to dedicate towards myself. I try and put half of my leftover money into savings, while the rest is just for me to use however I want. 

 

I live with my sister, so sometimes we cook meals together to save a bit of money. If I’m planning on spending time with friends, we try and avoid going out all the time, and instead we might stay in and watch movies or play cards. That way, we still get to spend time together, but we also get to save a bit of money.

 

I also find it useful to talk to my Mum about my budget - she's really good with this kind of stuff. When I first moved out, I was freaking out about how I was going to afford to feed and clothe myself, let alone pay rent, so I gave her a call and we strategised. We went through what bills I had to pay, what was a reasonable amount to save each week, and what extras I wanted to include into my budget to make sure that I was still enjoying the present. It can be really handy to talk to someone with experience in managing money to bounce ideas off, so I still call her up now and plan my budget when there are any changes to what I'm earning. 

 

I also like to have a savings account and a spending account. That way, I can see on my phone what money is set aside for my rent and bills, and what money is just for me. That way, when I’m considering buying lunch or treating myself to a massage, I can tell whether I can actually afford it.

What kind of things get in the way of saving or make it difficult for you to save money?

 

Well, rent is an obvious one (that sh*t is expensive). Since I moved out of home, I’ve had to pay rent, as well as electricity, gas, internet and phone bills. Fortunately, these bils aren't huge because I’m living in a small apartment, but they still take a chunk of my pay each week. When my rent or bills notifications pops up on my phone, it's hard not to cringe or shudder internally, but I try and keep it in perspective - I need a place to live and I need the lights to stay on, so it just has to be done. 

 

Another thing that gets in the way of saving is the fact that I travel a lot! My family lives in the country, so if I want to visit my parents or my grandparents, then I have to fly to see them (I don’t know how to drive). Flights can be expensive, so I have to find a balance between going home and letting my parents come and see me so that we share the financial load that comes with travelling. 

 

Finally, my love of food gets in the way of saving! I love going out for dinner, and I always order whatever I want, which sometimes means that I rack up a pretty decent bill at the end of a meal (I'm an entree, main and dessert kind of gal). When I’m trying to save, I still go out for plenty of meals, but I make sure that I plan them in advance and take a look at the menu before I get there so I know roughly how much money I’m going to need to have a wonderful time.

 

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Do you still get to have a fun social life and buy things for yourself when you’re saving? 

 

YES! Saving doesn’t have to put an end to fun. I still go out with my friends, I still buy myself new clothes, books, and video games, and I still get to see my family and go on holidays when I can. I didn’t always have this balance down pat – there was a time when I was trying to save wayyyyy too much every week, and it would leave me with barely any money to have fun with. I’ve realised that I’d rather save a little more slowly and not miss out on having fun and treating myself, because that’s way more sustainable in the long run than depriving myself of the things and experiences that are important to me. It’s better for my bank account too! If I don’t feel like I’m missing out, I don’t dip into my savings as much and I don’t beat myself up for putting money towards frivolous things like getting my nails done, because I know that it’s covered in my weekly budget. It's taken me a long time to adopt this mindset, but I've seen the other side of things where I save everything and spend nothing, and it's pretty miserable. 

What motivates you to keep saving?

 

At the moment, the idea of moving in with my partner is keeping me motivated to save money. We have been together for 4 years and we are ready to take the next step and live together, so I keep this in mind when I’m moving money into my savings account. The idea of living with my partner brings me a lot of joy and excitement, so now, when I’m putting money into savings, it feels like stepping a little closer to our future together!

 

I’m also motivated to save because I don’t want to feel stressed when I’m studying for my Masters next year. I have worked part-time while studying full-time since I was 15, so I’ve always had to balance my priorities as a student and as an employee. But, now that I live out of home, that’s even more important. Because I don’t live with my parents, I can’t afford not to work – if I don’t, I won’t be able to pay rent and I won’t have anywhere to live! Sometimes, the idea of this stresses me out, because that’s a lot of pressure. However, I try to see it as a positive. I love my life in the new city I live in, so saving for rent and bills to stay here allows me to keep that gratitude for the new life I have alive. 

 

Starting my Masters next year, I know that I won’t be able to work full time like I do now, so I’m taking the opportunity now to save up some extra cash while I have the time and capacity to do so. I completed my Honours thesis last year while working a few days a week, and I managed to pay for my expenses pretty well during this time, but sometimes, it was hard. I worked less during busy periods and exams, which meant that I had less money coming in, but I was able to apply for some Centrelink benefits to take the edge off. They have programs for full-time students, so I was always able to rely on that extra support if I wasn’t earning enough to cover my needs. It was a big life saver and took some of the pressure to work off my shoulders so that I could focus on my studies.

 

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Sometimes it’s difficult to strike a balance between saving and spending, between saving for your ‘needs’ and indulging your ‘wants’. What ‘wants’ are non-negotiable for you that you still spend money on even when you’re saving? 

 

For me, my gym membership is a non-negotiable part of my budget. Sure, it’s not essential, as there are plenty of ways to exercise that don’t involve going to the gym, but I like going to classes and being around other people while I exercise. This is something that’s good for my mind and body, so I’ve made it a part of my regular spending. I also have a Stan subscription so that I can watch Drag Race, a Spotify subscription for my music, and a little ‘pet’ fund so that I can look after my 6 fish. Again, these things aren’t food, water or shelter, but they certainly are essentials for me. I can’t live a good life without a bit of music, my pets, and some good TV to watch after work, so I don’t feel guilty about sacrificing a few dollars here and there to bring myself a bit of joy.

 

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What advice would you give to young people who are trying to save money to move out of home?

 

Moving out of home can be tough. All of a sudden, you have these expenses like rent and electricity that you probably didn’t even think about before (I know I didn’t). Even though taking on these kind of things can be a bit overwhelming, try to enjoy the freedoms that come with them! It feels great to have my own place that I can call home, and to have an apartment that I can decorate and use in whatever way I see fit rather than being told what I should do by my parents. It’s a transition that takes some getting used to, but you will find your way in time.

 

I’d also say that it’s okay to ask for help when it comes to money. I’m very lucky that when I run out of money a bit too quickly, or I underestimate my budget, I can ask my parents for a bit of help. This has happened plenty of times - at first, I was too proud and embarrassed to ask for their help, so I would sell some of my clothes or electronics on Gumtree. After selling my beloved Nintendo Switch, my Mum called me out for trying to muscle my way through financial stress alone when I didn't have to. She reminded me that it takes practice, and that you're not always going to get it right, but that shouldn't mean that you have to give up the things that are important to you. 

 

Not everyone's parents are in the position to help them out, but even if you aren’t able to do this, there are still options. Centrelink has been a huge help for me when I was looking for work or not earning enough, and financial counselling can be really useful if you need some advice on how to manage your money in a way that is sustainable and works for you. 

 

Finally, I’d say don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it right all the time. There have been weeks where I’ve blown through all of my pay in a few days, and times where I’ve only narrowly been able to pay my bills. Be kind to yourself and try to avoid placing blame or guilt on yourself – it’s hard to learn how to balance saving and spending, and it doesn’t always go as planned. Rather than seeing those weeks where you completely mess up with money as a failure, use them as a lesson for what to avoid in the future and reflect on what you could have done differently to save yourself some money and stress. In time, you’ll become a pro at estimating what you can live on! 🥰🤠