Who rated this post

Hi there! It's been a while... sorry! I do find a lot of happiness venting out but it's only to people I have no idea who they are because they personally don't know me. It helps a lot to vent but I can't find myself venting to someone personally in real life as I get super uncomfortable. It's indescribable. I portray a really positive and happy persona at school but when I'm in my own space all the thoughts come zooming in. I gusss when I'm with others and my mind is being tAken off of the thoughts I feel much better. Being here really helped me go through Covid and one of the darkest times in my life before though and I'm forever ghratrful. 

I don't know if I trust the compliments from others... the feeling I feel is indescribable. I feel cringe, yucky, disgusting wheb people compliment me. Personality and I'm head over heels hapy but in regards to look I feel super awkward and embarrassed . It's just super weird. I don't like to be considered or seen as "manly" and the way I walk seems so gangster. Maybe it's honestly because I have huge thunder thighs and my legs rub against each other but still... I get super anxious when I don't like makeup of anything like that still