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I know that it probably feels like a battle right now. But please, hold on. I know you may not want to, but you must talk to any one you can trust, depending on your age, adult. what you're going through is difficult and will continue to be difficult until you are able to step up. I really do hope you gain the courage to step up soon. Please know that you have tons of support from us. Please try to get help. Also, please eat. I know it may seem hard, but having an eating disorder is like a cherry to this unstable cake. Getting better will be a lot more difficult for anyone if they struggle down so many paths. Get help soon. I hope you are doing okay.