Hey @gorilladaspinna (love this username 💜 🦍)
My heart really breaks for you reading this post. I am really hearing how hopeless things seem, and that everything is just too much and pointless. It sounds like you have been in a dark place for a long time and that you are now feeling quite comforted by the idea of death. Sometimes thoughts of death can bring us comfort and that can be a coping mechanism, but it doesn't mean we need to act on those thoughts. Have you spoken to anyone recently about these thoughts you're having?
It's a horrible feeling when our friends don't seem to understand what we're going through and can only focus on the positives, it can be really unhelpful to hear those things when we're in a dark place. You said you had bad thoughts 12 months ago and got a lot better, what was it that helped you get through that time?
It sounds like it has been a long, painful road for you and it must all have been incredibly challenging and distressing. But I am really glad that you have shared with us what you're going through, it takes a lot to reach out for support and it's very brave of you to have been so honest with us 🧡
I am going to send you an email now as well to check in with you so look out for that in your inbox.
