Things sounds really tough for you, im sorry to hear all the challanges and thoughts you face. I can understand the depression and the eating disorder side of things. It can be really hard to get out of bed when we feel like theres really nothing to get up for except for a reason like an appt etc but i understand how you might be feeling.
Although i did finish school and have a job the circumstances around these havent really been the 'normal' ways that some people do. i also feel like ive missed out on alot of things too.
Im sorry i dont have much advice but i just wanted to let you know that i can empathise with you and how your feeling. sending love