Hey Maddy. I hate venting to people. I like to separate my personal life from people I personally know. I don’t want to be known as someone who’s “sad” or, “seems happy but is sad.” I just want to be known as myself. I disklike the stereotypes I portray myself as but I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s just the way I’ve always been. I’ve always had a deep voice and I can’t control it... it’s just me but I just beat myself up a lot. Being anonymous does help a lot since it feels personal in a less personal way.
yah you’re right though. Compliments feel superrr awkward hahaha, like I hate being hyped in my Instagram posts so I just have none. I got asked if I was ever sad by my friends because I seem to be “always the same” which I try to be. It’s like a flick of a switch in how I feel. In bustling environments rids me of my ill feelings towards myself because I’m so distracted.
. I don’t like my personal life interfering with my abilities which is why I hate feeling this way in general.
I try to tell others that they’re perfect the way They are, that they’re beautiful and not everyone will like them even if they’re were something else or someone else they currently are, so to just embrace who they want to be because you don’t need the worlds acceptance. Problem is, I can’t ever take my own advice. It’s pathetic, and I don’t know why. I just hate having a label on myself or being those... pick me girls or want validation from others to allow myself to be happy. I wanna be happy for myself. I guess that’s why I hate people knowing my personal life. I don’t think anyone in the world including the people I grew up with know a thing about how I feel except that I’ve always been so positive. I just can’t come to talk about myself. That’s why being anonymous here (even though the government probably know how I feel anyway, smh. Not like they’d care of something. Haha)
but yeah, small update I guess. I’ll check out the stuff you sent though, thanks a lot 🙂
