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I really don't know what's going on with me and don't know how to explain it. I feel okay at the moment but today I just completely lost control and didn't know what was happening and I'm just scared because of what happened and I'm scared to tell people because of what might happen and I just feel like I don't have anyone anymore. Idk. I know something really is not right but I'm just trying so hard to ignore it all right now and get through exams but it's proving harder than I thought. I haven't slept more than 4hrs max for god knows how long and I'm just exhausted but I can't physically sleep and when I do I keep waking up from nightmares. A few times I've woken up in the middle of what feels like a panic attack. They've been getting worse too and more regular during the day. Idk. Sorry. I shouldn't be saying any of this on here. I just really wish I could talk to you and lost privately because I just really want to tell you guys what's going on but I don't feel safe doing that anymore. I have really missed talking to you both though. How have you been? I don't really know how to work this properly yet and wish they had something that would help cause it's not a fun time trying to navigate when shit isn't good and you just want to talk to your friends. I was so worked up today that I couldn't just find my old thread and you guys like normal 🙃 I can't seem to tag people and I have no clue where we're meant to find notifications, I just assumed they deleted them lol Anyway, how are you going? I will try and find your thread at some stage but right now this is about all I can handle I'm sorry. But please give me an update cause I really want to know how you and lost have been going 💙