Aww @Lavender_Pony break ups and heart break is so hard.
I think it's really good that you are expressing how you feel and getting it off your chest. As painful as break ups are they are also a time to reflect. When I look back on my life I notice that each break up I've had has been an opportunity to grow into myself, make new friends, reconnect with old friends, try new things. It's challenging and uncomfortable but it does get easier as time ticks on.
It's hard to forgive yourself but it's not impossible. A good place to start is being really mindful to self-care, do nice things for yourself, spend time with loved ones. One thing I like to do after a break up is get some new clothes, try a new hair style or rearrange my living space - just some ideas.
Have you spoken to any friends or family about how you're feeling?
