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Wow. I actually have no words. Your post resonates with me SO MUCH. I have tears going on over here because I would never wish these thoughts and feelings on anyone. I don't have much to say right now I'm sorry. But I hear you, loud and clear. And thank you so much for sharing what you have!! You put it into words so beautifully. 100% can relate to the pain of living to save others from the pain of you dying. Family and friends are great, but they also kinda suck because without realising it it's like they are forcing us to stay? Idk. Thank you so much for sharing all of that because holey crap I can relate so much and I just have no words. Like I said, I would NEVER wish this bullshit on anyone so I really hope you are doing okay today. I hear you and I am sending you massive hugs and am so sorry your dr said that too. Don't even get me started. Thank you for sharing. You write so beautifully! I hope you're able to catch a break from the emotional pain at some stage, even just for a moment as I know how exhausting it can be. Is there anything you do to try and distract yourself in the worst times? Or to feel some sort of 'good' emotion? Sending you strength and love 💙