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Hi @Charlie-29-1999, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with your weight. It must be so frustrating to not have any answers and still be under medical investigation. It seems like how you feel about your body is also tied to how you were treated when you were younger - it makes sense that you don't feel kindly towards yourself given you were physically and emotionally abused. I can only imagine how upsetting it is to feel such disgust and hate towards yourself.
Please know that you are more than how you look and superificial marks that may be on your body. How you talk to yourself can make a big difference when it comes to body image, so I have also included some articles here. Easier said than done right? You can work on these habits over time by taking small steps. We also have articles on body image which you are welcome to have a scroll through and see if any resonate for you. Have you been able to talk to any health professionals about body image? 💖