Aw, it sounds like you are feeling quite helpless about everything. It would be so frustrating to try and have things not work, and have to endure such difficult symptoms for 10 months. It can take some people a while before they find the right mix of medication/psychotherapy that works for them. Hopefully, with the new diagnosis, you will be treated correctly, and recieve some relief from symptoms. As hard as it is, try to hang in there.
It sounds like you're constantly fighting with thoughts of suicde and self harm. I'm wanting to check, do you have a safety plan in place? @Akinna
