Aw @Akinna its the worst when you feel trapped and sick of everything. You said you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs, have you ever tried screaming into a pillow when you feel that way? It can be a really satisfying way to express yourself when you're feeling a lot.
It sounds like even though you feel trapped, you also know how loved you are and that is a really good reason to stick around when life is hard. I know it doesn't take away the pain you're feeling right now though and that must be really hard to sit with.
You mentioned that it would be hard to tell your parents how you feel - and I totally get what you mean. Sometimes it's so hard to pin-point what you're feeling and find words to express it. Do you think starting small would make it easier?
You don't need to tell your parents everything you're feeling but maybe letting them know that you are struggling in general could help you feel supported. We actually have an article on how to talk to your parents about your wellbeing, give it a read if you feel up to it. Opening up to the people that love you can be such a relief when you've been struggling in silence.
Here is also a good break down of how to talk to someone you trust:
It sounds like you're doing a lot to look after your mental health, it's hard waiting to see results but for now I hope you can feel some pride in yourself that you have taken action.
