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Thank you for letting us know how you are travelling. It sounds like things have taken a turn for the worse for you and you are struggling to find the motivation to move forward. I must commend you for your strength of will, even though you are suffering you are still here, helping support others.
You mention in your message that your lifelines to the world at the moment are your parents and the uncertainty of things. I would encourage you also to think of the loss the world would experience also without you in it. Without your amazing compassion, without your amazing insights and the fantastic supports you give others. You are a valuable person, worth cherishing and protecting.
I know it can be had to turn that compassion inwards sometimes, but what is something that you can do for yourself today that will make things a little easier for you?
What is something special that you can do that will make the world just a little less shitty today?