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Hi @lemurien 

I definitely wouldn't say that you're a failure if that's how you're feeling! I feel very much the same way in my degree. I can't shake the feeling that I just won't be able to do some of the jobs I want to do because I'm not experienced, I'm too nervous etc. and it's such a killer feeling. I do want to say that I'm super proud of the fact you keep trying to make it work even though it's hard! But I also agree that trying to force this hasn't been working to improve your anxiety.

Did you say that most of your jobs have been in retail? I wonder if part of your anxiety is that these jobs are highly stressful and public facing and don't have much to do with your true skills which you've been building through uni and tafe. Personally I never wanted to work in retail because I knew how stressful it is for my sensitive self 😅 Do you think that could make sense for your situation based on what you've been studying? Is it any different to what your placement might be?

Do you also think that the difference between being paid and expected to know everything could be different to placement where you're there to learn skills and make mistakes?