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I'm sorry your pain has been so bad @Lost_Space_Explorer5 , I can imagine it's hard to stay positive at times when you don't feel your best. 

You mentioned that your intrusive thoughts have been bad lately, too. I can definitely relate to that - lockdown has worn down my mental energy so my OCD is flaring up and there's intrusive thoughts flying around all over the place! What kind of things do you do to cope when your intrusive thoughts become overwhelming?