I'm so exhausted. I get what I did on my part is bad. I shouldn't have snuck out and gotten high with some 19-year old I barely know. but my consequences seem so unjust.
is being raped not enough for you? so now you lock me in my room for over twelve hours,
every day I'm with you, with no social communication. only fucking lectures about how you can see me as the victim because sneaking out and doing drugs outweighs what he did. you keep saying how I could've gotten murdered. I fucking understand that. I GET IT. but,
you just won't listen. it is so damn EXHAUSTING. I just want to be at peace. you keep bringing up my past, saying how I haven't resolved it. I've done MORE than resolve it. I AM the reason I'm alive, because I worked on myself, for MONTHS on end. is that not enough either? are your excuses so pathetic that you have to bring up my past? as if I DIDNT fix it? you keep saying how sneaking out proves I don't love you. please shut your fucking mouth and maybe think before you speak. if I didn't love you, I'd is gone. so long gone. you were the reason I hung on, but now I'm not so sure. it feels like you don't even want me. I feel like a chore, that gets half-assed because it's so fucking dumb and useless. I just want to run away and never come back. I wanna run until my legs collapse from under me.
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