Hi @JeremyThomas and welcome to the online community!
Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I can definitely say that it does NOT make you a bad person for watching this video and having these feelings. Sometimes online we stumble across things that make us feel a little uncomfortable and weird, but watch the whole video anyway because even though it's overwhelming, there's something compelling about it. I can definitely relate to that feeling of seeing something that I don't think is okay, but being drawn to watch it or find out more about it anyway. If you feel like it, here's an article on dealing with disturbing content when you see it online and how to look after yourself aftewards.
As for your feelings of being 'rooted to the spot', that's completely understandable and normal too. Feeling an overwhelming reaction or sexual feelings towards something like this doesn't mean that you aren't respectful towards women. Sometimes our bodies are pretty disconnected from our minds, and can react to something even if it doesn't necessarily align with our values and we want to turn away. That doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human! It sounds like you have a strong sense of what's right and wrong and that you care deeply about being respectful, which is a great thing. Be kind to yourself and know that it's okay to have confusing feelings ❤️
