I can hear that tonight has been really horrible for you. It sounds really stressful, upsetting and intense. I know how important your cat is to you, so I can imagine that you must have been feeling really scared and agitated. What happened with your Mum sounds like a really overwhelming and hurtful experience. I don't blame you for crying and looking for ways to cope. Spiraling thoughts and feeling like you lost it must be really traumatic 😞 You don't need to judge yourself for the thoughts you had/things you said when you were feeling scared and upset.
A lot of people eat as a way to cope with really intense situations or emotions which can sometimes help as a short term strategy to wind down at the end of a tough day. I just want you to know that you aren't alone in that regard and we all have days where we don't eat the best. Tomorrow is a new day. It does seem like eating is not a coping strategy you would like to use and I understand that it might be a trigger for you. Is there something you can do tonight as a distraction instead? Or something to wind down for the rest of the night? I know tonight has been really distressing for you, so I am also wondering if there is anyone you can chat to in real life about this? 
