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@Jennifer-RO thank you so much for your reply, it truely means a lot.

I have a wonderful friend who's family have let me stay with them until I get on my feet which I am so grateful and lucky to have.

i don't think I can access the kids help line as I'm 19, does it still apply for >18?

I try to be optimistic, our minds are one of the only things we carry with us throughout everything we endure I guess and so I want to try and make mine happy despite the battles :))