That sounds hard @Clarke
I'm only 17, but definitely relate to some of what you've said.
I've been through a lot with my mental health these last few years. While other classmates were thinking about their careers, I was thinking about the fact that I didn't want to wake up tomorrow.
I had days where the only thing I could think was, 'what is the purpose in being alive?'
I ended up leaving school early to focus on myself. No one expected this. But best decision ever.
This is stuff that's helped me. It's easier said than done. Please don't be hard on yourself if this doesn't work for you. Of course, I'm not a professional, but I'm just sharing what I've learnt through my experiences.
I've learnt to stuff other people's expectations. It's your life, not theirs.
Everyone lives by their own timeline, and that's ok. Comparison is pointless because everyone has unique circumstances. Chances are, given your unique circumstances, you are absolutely smashing it.
You don't have to have everything figured out right now. It's ok to not know what to do. Most of us are just making it up as we go. We're all human.
Be kind to yourself because you are doing the best you can.
When I'm struggling, I try to take one day at a time. Dreaming, goals and plans are great. But sometimes all you can do is take one day at a time and trust it will all work out. Then when you are in a better headspace, you may find it easier to think about the future.
Like @Jennifer-RO said, talking to a mental health professional could be helpful.
And I agree with @featuringme that journalling is a fantastic tool.
Just please be assured that it's ok to feel this way. You're not the only person to. It doesn't make you weird. It just means you're human trying to find yourself and what you want to do in this crazy world ❤️
