Hey there ReachOut community, I'm just reaching out for some comfort and support right now ❤️ I'm having mixed feelings of confusion, excitement and worry about my sexuality and I thought this would be the best place to share my thoughts and seek help 🙂 Just a heads up, this is a bit of a long message, so apologies in advance!
I've been deeply reflecting over the past couple of days, and I'm thinking I might be bicurious or bisexual. It's subconsciously been in the back of mind, over the past year or so, but its not until now that I've paid close attention to it.
Just a bit of background, I'm a dude and I've never been in a romantic relationship before. I don't really know what it feels like to be intimate with another person. But this is something I would really like to experience, and I hope it will help me better understand my sexuality.
Over this time of reflection, I've been thinking whether I'm attracted to girls or boys or both, whether I'm straight, gay or bisexual.
From a young age, I guess I always romanticised about being in love with a girl, probably due to my upbringing. In primary school, I had a lot of crushes for girls in my class.
But through high school, I developed a lot of affection and connection to my guy mates, particularly my best friend. It was only recently that I realised I had a crush for my mate. But it's kinda awkward because he is straight and has been raised in a strict Christian household, so I knew it would never work.
Even though that relationship isn't possible, I do dream that there's a guy out there with similar loving and caring qualities that would show affection to me.
At the same time, I've been in contact with a lot of girls and have been trying to grab a date. It's tricky because I sway in out of attraction to girls, with the idea that I might be attracted to dudes too.
In regards to whether I'm coming out or not ... I'm not entirely sure. It's difficult to decide, because on one hand this is a deeply personal thing, that I don't feel 100% comfortable talking about yet. But at the same time, I can't keep it to myself, because I know it'll build up and become a big internal worry for me.
My parents have always been caring and supportive throughout my life. But from comments they've made over the years, I'm not so sure how well they'll react to this news. On one hand, they are loving to me for who I am, but on the other hand, they have a lot of stigma and skepticism towards people who are gay or from nationalities other than their own.
I do have a close friend who is part of LBGTQIA+ community, so I think speaking to them will definitely bring some comfort. As to whether I talk to my other friends who are straight, I'm not sure. I really don't know whether they'll be supportive or not about my sexuality.
But I'm also going to speak to my psychologist next week, which will be helpful in voicing my thoughts and hopefully receive some support to get me through.
In summary, it's been a strange, scary, exhilarating, exciting and nerve reacting few days for me, so I'm just so happy to share these thoughts to you 😊
I'd also just like to say thank you to ReachOut, not only for your loving community, but also your supportive articles too. ReachOut was the first place I properly got to learn about sexuality, in particular bisexuality which opened a new door for me, and I'm really grateful for that.
Thank you so very much for reading my reflective message. Just being here on this forum community brings a lot of comfort to me. But I also really look forward to hearing some nice replies soon ❤️❤️❤️
Love, DrummaBoy 🥁🤙🌸
