Sorry I haven't been on RO to reply to stuff the past month or two. Sometimes I run out of energy and it's hard to do even the basic stuff like buy groceries.
So basically, I’m depressed partly because I feel so alone all the time. I live alone and I think getting a roommate or boyfriend might help, but I think my OCD and personality would make it difficult to live with anyone new. It feels like I might have found a way to help with my loneliness and depression, and yet my OCD is stopping me from doing it.
Also with regards to friends: I have had trouble maintaining new friendships in the past few years. It's not that I struggle talking to people but rather that I lose motivation/enthusiasm after a while and ask myself 'what is the point?' Then I tend to distance myself and stop meeting up with people, which of course means I can't keep up friendships.
I don’t know what to do. Just that I can’t keep going like this.
I'm scared the direction of my thoughts have gone the past few days. Life seems so pointless and meaningless. Nothing brings me joy anymore. Emptiness, fear, and boredom seem to be the only things I feel anymore. I know that sounds really negative but this is the only place I can really express what I feel.
Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to maybe change things?
