Hi@FloralNova675
First I want you to know that I'm sincerely listening and reading this. It sounds like you've been holding on to a lot of angsty feelings and that must be incredibly uncomfortable for you.
Without dismissing your feelings I would like to reframe some of the things you've said.
FIrstly, graduating at the age of 22, carrying your struggles, amazing! Also most definitely an achievement. It's always upsetting when the things you idealised never end up coming to fruition and I'm sorry to hear how much you had to struggle.
I've never been in a relationship but I don't need to to know that ghosting is not a nice thing, especially if he is a co-worker. It sounds like you're seeking closure from this. DO you have any ideas on how you would like to do that?
In terms of finding friends and meeting people you've come to the right place! RO offers spaces where you can meet new people dealing with similar issues and also play games
I think the Friendships and relationships thread would be suitable for you https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Friendships-and-relationships/bd-p/Friendships_and_relationships?s...
and when you just want some light-hearted interactions we have a thread for playing games https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Games/bd-p/Games
Giving you the opportunity to meet so many more people.
I'm very familiar with the 5am panic attacks and I'm so sorry you have to bear that burden. It took me having to see my psychiatrist and adding medication to help. I'm just wondering if you have someone you see regularly like a counsellor or psychologist? I'm not equipped to give medical advice but it may help to seek it out from professionals, just a thought.
I see other people have posted some great advice too, so I hope we've been able to give you at least some ideas for support. As always, please look after yourself through whatever self-care strategies work for you and if there is anything else I can do to help don't hesitate to let me know.
You are loved and cherished and will overcome this adversity because we are all here to support you 💜
Take care.
