Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5 ,
Firstly, I'm glad to hear you're safe. Having read through what you wrote (and thank you for putting the TW), I can 100% understand why you would've felt a bit shaken by what happened. I'm so glad that you were able to have a debrief and reflection with your counsellor. It sounded like in that session, you were able to sort of piece together all the factors that could've exacerbated and impacted what happened in the last couple of days. How did you feel after you started reflecting about how things led up to what happened for you?
It's interesting how hard it can feel to mediate how we feel with logic. We rationalise that what's happening isn't inherently real, but that doesn't stop our feelings from experiencing it as if it was. At the end of the day, how we feel is... how we feel. We don't have as much control over it, just in the same way when we have intrusive thoughts. All we can really do is try focus on our actions and what we do about what's happening for us. It sounds like you reached out for help and it helped make a bit more sense of the situation for you.
Glad you emailed back the psychologist to let them know what was happening for you. It sounds like you're feeling a lot more in control at the moment. I hear what you're saying about wishing you knew this might happen. I suppose how things interplay with us is such a unique process, we can most certainly be surprised by what impacts us in such ways. I hope you hear back from your psychiatrist and you get some reassuring information.
I'm glad you took the time to write your story. It sounds like it's cathartic for you to share and let it out of your system? 100% agree about your comment about the concept of making things up for attention. No one wants to struggle, and feeling like your struggles are dismissed as attention-seeking can feel really disheartening, and you're right, can lead to people ignoring stuff and not talking about things again - and we all know what bottling things up can feel like.
How are you going today? I'm so so so so so glad to hear you're feeling a lot calmer. What an experience to go through.
