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Hi @StormySeas17 


You've been through the wringer, I'm so sorry you've had to experience all these things, especially your dad. you are absolutely right, setting boundaries IS draining but so integral to preserving your mental wellbeing which is why a lot of people struggle with it (including me!). In your points I can see some places where you tried to establish boundaries like in your tutoring job, being open and honest in telling people when their emotional baggage is beginning to encroach on your own. I know at first glance it sounds like 'oh  I'm being a bad friend" or letting them do but actually you are saving both yourself and the other person from what would have eventually become a perpetual cycle of negativity. It's true what they say about putting yourself first before you can look after others, so in fact what you did what brave and empathetic 👍.  

Are you a list person? Maybe if you wrote out your priorities first you can have a clear visual idea of what your needs are and THEN see how others can be slotted in like family and friends. You sound like a true empath and I 100% understand what you mean by the sticky wall. I've been stuck many a time. 

Also, maybe it's time to trial a new mode, other than defensive? Can you reframe it to, let's say, curiosity or non-judgmental? A mode that puts your health first, lets you actually stop to enjoy the experiences in your life and then prioritises everything else. 

These are just some thoughts. I'd love to hear what you think and remember you have the support of a whole community behind you as well💜

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