hi everyone,
I've been thinking about my sexuality a bit more since my last post and I discovered aesthetic attraction, and realised I'm pretty sure that's all I feel when I see guys. Like sometimes I'll be really fascinated by a guy, maybe his voice sounds really nice or he has good style, and I mistake that for being romantically/sexually attracted to him. The definition I saw was that it's a similar feeling to seeing a nice landscape/painting, and that hit hard lol. But if I think about actually being in a relationship with that guy, I could probably do it if I tried but it wouldn't feel right. I guess I was so confused for so long because of this, but now that I know what aesthetic attraction is, everything makes sense. Like I used to have these intense obsessions over guys I'd never even met before, I'd just heard about them or seen photos, but if they ever made a move on me I would feel so uncomfortable, but I thought it was just "butterflies." On the other hand, I don't really have any specific crushes at the moment, but sometimes I'll be with one of my girl friends and I'll get this OVERWHELMING urge to hug them or kiss them or just anything physical, and it just happens without me even thinking about it (whereas with guys, I find myself trying to convince myself I feel an attraction to them). So, long story short, I'm definitely lesbian but I'm just finding it so hard to accept and come to terms with lol
