Thank you for your reply,@autumn2742 .
I unfortunately could not access the link you posted so I am unable to check it out.
It is sort of hard to explain this masculinity and femininity I feel. The way I see it, I do tend to have feminine actions and reactions but my I prefer more masculine things. I feel no correlation with my body, feeling a strong sense of gender dysphoria. I do not hate the Cis female body but I just don't like that I have it. I wish I could express more masculine, wearing clothes from mens store, go to a barbers (I do anyway just not for the styles I like) and hang out with guys more.
I do believe everyone has both masc and fem qualities but I feel I'm more on the masculine. If that makes sense.
I have had a friend since the start of high school who I have grown closer to even though she moved away. She knows of my stance and has helped me through my sexuality, though I don't believe I have told her about my gender journey. Just stating my pronouns to her as I am still figuring it out.
In response to , have I sort out other means like a 'queer group or mental health professional', No. I go to a catholic school with no 'Out' people of any kind which makes it hard. I am the only 'female' (using term loosely haha) that wears pants instead of a skirt which already gets looks. As well as having any friends I had previously leave my school, so I am left with no one (physically) to talk to at school, especially with my social anxiety.
I haven't really ever talked to a mental health specialist, but I went through a reduction Mammoplasty last year which really concreted my feelings that I do not feel or want to present as a woman.
of course I know I should wait til I'm ready and not push it. And I thank all those who have given myself advice.
I feel I could not Come Out in direct confrontation. I barely speak as it is and I don't believe I could get the words out or comprehend what to say at the moment. A letter, that sounds right. I find myself always writing and enjoy it so I think I would take extra care in it as well as it be meaningful to my family. Any help is much appreciated.
Thank you for the detailed reply, and I too do write a lot so no worries. 😁
