Hey @N3tball3r
Sorry you've been feeling that way... it can be really disheartening when you feel like a friend isn't genuine with you and might be saying things behind your back.
Have you tried to have a conversation about this with her yet? Or do you think that it's a bit scary to do that (which is completely understandable!)
Perhaps you can try building some new friendships and connections to help you feel supported better, and so that you feel you have more people to go to if things with this other friend don't go so well. Do you do any extracurriculars or are you in any clubs?
Hope you're feeling alright. 💙 Please look after yourself. Maybe journalling and venting out all your emotions and thoughts on paper might help you feel better?
