Hi malb,
I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. Don't worry, I think this is the right place to post, and I'm glad you reached out!
I feel like a lot of your worries are valid, but it seems to me that you may be too hard on yourself. My perception is that few people are on top of things all the time, and that's it's ok to take things one at a time at your own pace and not overly judge yourself for it. Think of treating yourself the way you would a treat friend: Would you throw all these worries/judgements on them all at once? Also give yourself deserved praise and recognition for improvements or things you have done well recently, no matter how small they may be. Nonetheless, I understand that it is still a difficult time and situation, I'm sorry to hear you are going through this.
Additionally, I want to ask, could it be possible that your workload is too heavy? It sounds like you want a few weeks to yourself, and it sounds like perhaps a reason for what you're feeling may be due to overwhelming workload. Would it help for you to discuss with your university's academic advisor/psychologist to see if an arrangement can be worked out to give you more time and space?
As for the psychologist you are seeing, it sounds like there is too much of a time gap between sessions. Is it possible to ask for more sessions or find a psychologist that can give your more time and help?
I hope this has helped. 🙂
-Greenfern
