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Casual scribe

It has been 2 years since I last posted here TW: Self harm/ mentions of suicide

I found this account again after a while. It has been a long time. Last time I posted it was 2020 in the middle of the pandemic and life felt bad.

I made posts about how I harmed myself and how I felt so alone.

2021 was a year, I made a friend, discovered I was bi had a group of friends.

2022 didn't go so well for me, that friend I made and I fell out it was complicated I liked her more than a friend and my group of friends cut me off saying I was toxic and never explained why.

My self harm got worse after my posts for a bit but I am proud to say I haven't harmed myself for 2 months now. I deal with my pain a lot better. I was suicidal but my friend helped me through it.

I made friends and yes my friend group cut me off but it always seems like I am the villain in friendship situations.

The friend that I made and fell in love with don't talk anymore.

Life hurts right now, its like you have the taste of how great life can be and it gets taken away from you.

I didn't cope so well academically this year. It got better but it got worse but I know how good life can be and I feel like I can control my life. 

All I wanted to say is, life got better and yeah maybe it didn't last but I know I choose my own happiness in a way.

So it has been a while and my school psychologist suggests I'm very likely autistic which would make logical sense for sure. My issues with making friendships and dealing with my emotions being highly sensitive.

I don't know honestly but life just keeps on going and I'm here for the ride?

I guess I wrote this to let people know life gets better and not to let it knock you down. Maybe I'll come back or maybe I'll just pop in another 2 years lmao.

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