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Hey VioletThistleKoala
Thanks for sharing your question. Sounds like a very difficult relationship with this family member that youve been experiencing for a long time, so I can see why youve tried to not have any contact with them.
It must be very hard then feeling like your accomodation options are very limited, so no wonder youre really stressed. I hear what youre saying about feeling possibly gaslit. There is a great article on understanding emotional abuse here that may be worth checking out.
Im wondering what purpose do you think it serves for the family member to say those things to you? Have you been able to tell them or anyone else how it makes you feel?
What do you think you can do to help manage the stress? Is there something nice you can do for yourself tonight to give yourself a bit of a break from the stress?