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Hi @redroses , I am sorry to hear how much you’re hurting, losing a friend is just so incredibly difficult. You have experienced a mix of hurtful and confusing things lately, and I am mindful of the impact it might be having on your well-being. How are you feeling today? Have you been able to get much sleep at all? 

It sounds like you are considering whether or not it would be a good idea to reconnect with your friend. I find that writing a pro’s and con’s list can sometimes help me make those more difficult and complex decisions. Have you tried this technique? You mentioned that you have a psychiatrist appointment coming up in a month. I wonder if a pro’s and con’s list could be something to think about doing before or during your next appointment with them?