@Portia_RO yeah... It's not the easiest right now...
My Drama teacher was helpful, but then she said those somewhat hurtful words. She did apologise yesterday, but I'm still tempted to quit all my activities and see if that says something about how it's affecting my mental health with the TA around...
My anxiety meds are helping stop my episodes. They aren't helping with my anxiety... Especially with the TA around.
Everything is just frustrating and I'm sad and alone right now.
My psych thinks that my meds are making me feel sad as well, which I think she might be right 😢
Unfortunately there is no real way for me to destress. Only when I feel safe and not in panic mode, is when I can try and relax. But when I'm at home I'm sad and broken down too. It's just too hard to relax at the moment.
Also unfortunately, I can't just see my DT whenever. She has classes, and I have classes too. And I rely on her a heck-ton for this sort of thing, I'm starting to feel like a burden to everyone in my life. even my mum, because she's so sick of fighting the school for things I need, which are really really simple, but the school is refusing to do them anyways. I hate everything at the moment.
I'm so sick of everything. I want to stop fighting everybody for my basic human rights and needs. I'm so sick of feeling like shit. And I hate that I just want to hide in a corner. Cry. Wishing to be cuddled. By specific people. For a long time.
If I could just be myself for one, maybe my life wouldn't suck quite as much. I'm so exhausted right now. I just want to hide. I'm so sad and alone.
Even at youth group, the leaders don't talk to me. I'm just a waste of space, to more than enough people. And I wish I wasn't.
I'm safe, just sad and hating myself for existing right now.
