@justkeepswimming Thank you so much for sharing this with us, it sounds like you're going through a lot and I hope it has been helpful to get a bit off your chest. I can see how much energy and effort you are putting towards your recovery, it's clear that you are quite determined! Something to be proud of for sure.
Can totally understand your hesitation about going onto new meds, it can be a. really rough thing to go through that adjustment period. Maybe another conversation with your psychiatrist, where you can share these concerns and ask a bit more about the meds, so you can make a more informed decision? You could also let your psych know that you would consider the medication, but you want to keep going with your current therapy and support and see whether the DBT group is better for you at this point in time.
Speaking of, I'm really glad you are looking to join a DBT group! I really hope it is helpful for your needs. You could also look up online DBT groups, or other BPD support groups in your area, for that little bit extra that maybe you could use right now.
With your psychologist, it is understandable that paying so much for further sessions would cause you hesitation. It does sound like this psychologist is willing to keep working with you - you could potentially let him know how much of a barrier that might be for you. Sometimes, psychologists are willing to work out a deal to ensure their clients can continue accessing the service; and if not, he could possibly help you to find a new therapist who is affordable and who also has experience with BPD. I think it's always worth it to try 😊
In case you haven't already seen it, I thought I'd share this one with you - 10 tips for coping with the hard stuff
I think with unhealthy coping mechanisms, it can be helpful to think of it like... all of these tools help us cope. Not all of them are healthy, and often the unhealthy ones can end up leaving us feeling pretty awful afterwards. But if you make it the goal to try to add more of the healthy ones bit by bit, without shaming yourself if you end up using the unhealthy ones, over time you will get better at choosing the healthy ones more and more and will find you no longer need the unhealthy ones anymore. It is a process that can take time, but reducing the shame can be helpful along the way.
Be gentle with yourself in this journey, and we are glad you're here with us so we can help you as best we can along the way. 💚
