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Hey @gay_disabled_human 

Your exhaustion is very understandable and I can definitely see how challenging your circumstances have been for you. Piggy-backing off of @Pho-RO and @Chloe-RO 's suggestion, I would definitely look at calling certain helplines. I understand this can be hard because you wish to get away from people for a while, but having someone to talk to can definitely help with taking a lot off your mind.