Hi @Blueberry_Kudu, @Little_Owl, @Pho-RO and @Bre-RO ! Thank you all for the resources and support. Things have definitely settled down a little bit. I think I definitely prevented having a nervous breakdown, which I am proud of. Some recent life stuff gone well and I am happy about that, some not so good.
That said I am now feeling low and tired, and I am scared of spiralling further. I tried to make some time for myself over the weekend but things have been so busy. I have a house inspection tomorrow (so lots of cleaning) and there was Mother's Day etc. In retrospect I think I pushed myself a bit much on the weekend, and went out and about a lot, didn't really rest.
I have been disassociating at work all day today. Uncertain and unsure about things and just losing a bit of my hope and spark. Depressive periods suck!