Hi @Anon_1
I'm sorry to hear this has been happening to you. Please know that you deserve positive support and understanding from your mum. It must be really hard to feel unheard and blamed by her, when you are doing your best.
Please don't be sorry for venting. These forums can be used for you to get your emotions out and just vent. It can be therapeutic to have it written or typed out, kind of like journalling your feelings. You don't look stupid and you are not pathetic. I can sense that you are trying really hard in your own way, but feel disheartened and upset when your mum does not see your efforts. Children often just want to please their parents because they look up to them as role models. When they disapprove of something you do, it can be really hurtful and upsetting. Your emotions are completely valid.
You mentioned that you wish your mum didn't bring you to life. I just want to make sure - are you safe at the moment?
I hope you're feeling ok today. ❤️
