Hi @Red_Flamingo
I'm so sorry you're in such a dark place at the moment. It's very frustrating and exhausting to try so hard to stay afloat and then have to deal with the anxiety of a rude co-worker so frequently as well. Just wanted to say, even though it doesn't feel like you're making progress, often we are entirely too close and too hard on ourselves to notice the substantial/meaningful steps forward we're taking. From an outsiders perspective, you're courage in reaching out, building a support network and looking into your future are already signs of progress. I can hear how much effort you're putting into every. single. day. and it is truly commendable 💙
However, I understand during the particularly tough moments it's difficult to see this. So for tonight, I'll say there is nothing wrong with you and you're allowed to cry if you need to, so please don't be too harsh on yourself. There was something someone told me a while back. It wasn't directly related to what I was going through but I realised it rang true on the days I was struggling a lot and felt alone. "You have to hold on to the little things for dear life." Whatever that is for you, whether it's an episode of Good Doctor, a kind comment/compliment or act someone directs at you, or just doing something to distract you from your thoughts momentarily. Take it day by day, even hour by hour. Hold on to those small moments of goodness/respite dearly to remind yourself there exists the possibility for more in life than what you are used to/expect.
I hope you managed to get in contact with KHL. Please keep us updated with how it goes and take care tonight 💛
