Hi @sunset_hues
Yes, anyway, I think I'm over the work stuff now. It's just the depression I'm focussing on. Hey, work may have triggered me to feel worse, but there are other reasons I could also be worse. My med change I've been on these meds for six weeks now, and each time I try a new one, things always get worse. Yes, it was good getting to talk to her. I really need it.
I know it's so hard I don't get why. Thank you for that, expect that it will happen. Maybe I need to do that more and also with the trying. I find it's just getting the motivation to do one thing. Take yesterday for an example. I was really struggling and still am today, but anyway. I need to cook something for my lunch this week and dinner last night. The first thing I did was just to get dressed and do my skincare routine, which felt like a massive challenge on its own. Though I got there and did it, went to the shop and came back and cooked. I did feel a little better while doing it, but afterwards, I was straight back to feeling sad, alone etc.
Hmm, well, with the motivation, I know when uni is on, I have to do it no matter what because I didn't want to fail, and I do like my course. Also, with work, I'm the same. I can't just wake up and be like oh, I don't feel good; I won't work today. In my job, I work in admin in an Emergency department, so my colleagues rely on me to turn up. I am less depressed when I am busy as I don't have to ruminate or sit and hate myself. As of right now, I'm on uni break and not working more than what I do at uni. So I have a lot more free time, which also contributes to why everything is so hard.
I'm not sure that would be helpful at all, sorry. I find myself being blunt when it comes to uni and work. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle to get out of bed, shower, do the uni assignments and lectures recording, take notes and go to work. I find myself knowing I need to do it if I want to pass and continue on with further study and work.
How are you today, @sunset_hues? Do you have many plans? I'm not sure what to do today. I hope I don't break down as much as yesterday.
