Hi there @Jess020201
It sounds like you are grappling with thoughts around drinking and how this affects you. I read that you have posted "I need help" and that you feel you are drinking too much. It must be so hard to sit with these thoughts which are telling you that drinking helps you feel calmer and more relaxed, and at the same time, your head spins and you can't concentrate properly.
Have you ever seen a professional about what's happening for you? It may not necessarily have to be a drug and alcohol service which you mentioned you do not want to see, but even a GP who may be able to guide you in this area?
ReachOut has a number of alcohol-related resources which may be handy for you to have a read.
At the same time, I'm wondering whether it will help to talk to someone about the emotions and thoughts that come up for you when you drink. If you haven't in the past, would you consider speaking to a counsellor at KidsHelpline 1800 55 1800?
You do not have to go through this alone.
