Hey @visions_9374 goodness me, what an intense situation you're in. I'm so sorry that you're experiencing such distressing and ongoing tensions with this person. I'm really glad you decided to write it all out, I hope it has been helpful to get the thoughts out of your brain. It sounds like there has been a lot of very stressful interactions and it's no surprise it is having such an impact on you.
It makes me happy to read that you are finding creative outlets for your emotions! Writing songs and writing in your diary is really awesome, so I reckon you can be proud of yourself for taking the initiative to do so. I can imagine you are feeling incredibly hurt by Jane's actions, and I think it's very valid for you to feel a sense of betrayal. It sounds like you really cared about her, put time and energy into being empathetic and supportive, and so to have your genuine care and devotion thrown back in your face would be incredibly hurtful.
Do you think it might be helpful to implement some boundaries for yourself? For example, you could take some time away from this person and any others involved, refuse to engage in further conversations, and/or set some time aside to focus on yourself and gain some mental distance from the stress of the situation. It might also be good to speak to a trusted adult, like a family member or a teacher/school counsellor who could look out for you, and perhaps even examine the situation to ensure that no one is in any danger, and that everyone involved is well-supported. Everyone deserves compassion, even people who are mean - but it doesn't have to come from you.
Do you have other friends you could focus on spending some time with? We all need a break from drama, and nurturing any friendships that don't create such distress might go a long way to lifting your spirits and nourishing your soul. I hope that this situation is resolved soon, so that you can focus on the good stuff, and the stuff that matters 💚
