Hey @Turquoise_Hamster
It really amazing that you’ve been able to change so much for yourself. It takes so much work and strength to accomplish what you have so you should be really proud. When I look back at my mental health journey I feel similarly. I miss aspects of my unwell self as it was easier to hide my limitations. Now I know the consequences of hiding too much, so it no longer feels worth it. I still can’t really wrap my head around having a life like this.
Life is so much better, but it is completely different. I know fundamentally I’m the same person, but I feel so different. I gained the ability to be proud of things and be compassionate towards myself. Unhealthy me could never. There’s just such a contrast that sometimes I’m a bit taken a back with some of the things I think/do. It feels unfamiliar but a good kind of unfamiliar.
I think change is just challenging, regardless of whether it’s good or bad. Recovery is overwhelming and exhausting, especially considering you must actively go against the illness. I don’t know if you will ever feel like you’re completely recovered. But maybe it's more important to remember how far you've come.
