Hi there @arp2600 ,
Thank you for posting. I recognise how difficult it is to perhaps share some of what you have shared tonight. It sounds like there are some painful parts to your story which has caused you to use the words 'I can't'.
We want you to know you are not alone. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for support. We read you have spoken to a GP, a counsellor and a psychiatrist. I'm sorry to hear these experiences haven't been the most helpful. We also read you have had a recent falling out with a family member so that you don't have family members to speak to.
As you mentioned, there is a lot going on for you. It is understandable you feel confused, stuck and in need of advice. I wonder if talking to someone helps? Do you know about ReachOut's 1:1 Peer Chat? Talking to someone who has been through their own mental health journey may be refreshing at this time. Speaking to someone may also bring clarity to your own situation. What's good about this chat is that you don't have to leave the house!
At the same time, you mentioned feeling pretty out of it lately so you have forgotten to pay rent, can't get organised for food etc. Here's a tip sheet on 5 ways to declutter your mind. It may be helpful when you feel up to it.
I'm glad to hear that you find listening to music helpful and soothing. Can you think of other things you can do to help you cope when things get tough? For example, being in nature, being around animals, painting, exercise?
There's an entire community out here sitting with you. I'll send you an email shortly.
