Hey @idkbro
From my experience, because you mentioned that he seems to lead you on, I reckon putting a closure to the situationship between you and your friend Kyle could be a suggestion. By "closure" I meant a heart to heart conversation with him, to tell him how you thought of him and how hurt you were when things happened. Because after all you went through as you told us the story, I think you deserve to express your pain toward Kyle and put an end to the anger that you are bearing. That would not necessarily ruin your friendship if he really listened and understood. However, if a confronting conversation is a thing that would make you uncomfortable, it's okay to disregard what I suggested, that was just how I moved on from many of my previous crushes: clear communication and end the misunderstanding.
And hey, above all, from a person who has never been in a serious relationship before with many heartbroken, I may say I understand your feeling of being "hard to love". But trust me, sometime we just need the right time and place to meet somebody that is right for us. I haven't found my person too, but I trust that they are out there and I deserve love, we all do. So in the meantime, please take care of yourself and try to focus on your journey. You are definitely worthy of love, and I think especially from yourself because you are the most important person in your life and someday, someone will embrace every aspect of you and you will feel loved.
