Hey @Maize_Falcon,
Firstly, I would like to welcome you to ReachOut! It is tough to share something intimate and vulnerable with others, so I’d like to thank you for being incredibly courageous and sharing what you’re going through! Having any addiction is really tough, especially when you’ve recognised that it is affecting your daily life. You should be super proud of yourself for being able to identify that pornography is problematic for you!
I can see that this has been really difficult for you, including the fact that you are experiencing scary and dark thoughts. I am curious about how long you have been having these thoughts for? I can hear that you’ve also been writing these thoughts down. This is a really great strategy to manage these thoughts. Do you find writing your thoughts down helpful? It is also important to take care of yourself during this time, so I am wondering if you have been engaged in any self-care lately? If you’re looking for some ideas, here is an article on how to be awesome at self-care that includes some tips on self-care activities that you can do.
It is understandable that you don’t want to tell your parents about your addiction, and can be daunting to speak to your parents about something private. Often It can be helpful to talk to a professional like a counsellor or psychologist. If you’re interested in speaking to a professional I encourage you to connect with Kids Helpline which is free and confidential, and can be super helpful in understanding addiction and what recovery can look like for you. Kids Helpline also has a really great resource on porn that you might find useful, which you can find here.
ReachOut is also here to support you and have seen many other young people experiencing a pornography addiction so you’re not at all alone! I would like to share this reply made by Tardis009 who commented on another community member's thread about their addiction to pornography. They shared some really great words and also linked their original post where they too shared their experience being addicted to porn.
An email has also been sent to you so please keep an eye out for that!
