hi @Bearded_Dragon , i’m so sorry to hear your parents don’t get what’s happening for you is impacting you so much. I am also Christian and have severe depression, anxiety and ASD so i can definitely relate with a lot of the things you mentioned, especially the stuff about emotional sensitivity and perfectionism. you should be so proud of yourself for going to the counsellor today.
that situation with your mum sounds like it would have been really overwhelming. i can imagine having someone close to you being insensitive about your emotional state resulting in you crying. it sucks even more when it’s someone close to you that should be the most understanding of your situation. that wasn’t fair of her to guilt trip you for that, and i can tell how considerate you are of other’s feelings already by you going to your room so others don’t see you cry.
i understand how much it hurts when your parents make you feel guilty for something you can’t control like your mental illness. it must be so hard to feel like you have to internalise all your emotions, and even harder when you’re battling stuff like depression in a space that doesn’t understand the depth of impact it has on your health.
it makes sense that you feel more comfortable around your best friend’s mum since she accepts you and respects your sensitivity to swearing and yelling. it sounds like she would be a safe person to confide in.
it sounds like such an overwhelming and confusing position to be in. i also deal with rejection sensitivity when people point out my flaws because i don’t want to bother anyone.
from my own experience, my parents eventually came around to understanding after a year or two, but it really is different for everyone. i’m sorry i can’t help give any advice for how to help your parents understand. i’m wondering whether you could work with the school counsellor to make a plan for that.
as for the guilt about feeling like you shouldn’t be struggling with mental health because you are Christian, I know what that feels like. what provided me comfort was talking to God, and randomly opening the bible when i was feeling particularly low. struggling is all throughout the bible and part of the human experience - a particular book of the bible that helped me when i was at my lowest was ecclesiastes. I promise you aren’t the only Christian with mental health struggles - there’s at least two of us!
here if you ever need to talk <33
