It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of emotional weight from constantly trying to please others and mediate conflicts. It’s commendable that you care so much about your friends, but it’s also important to take care of yourself. It’s important to recognize that your feelings are valid. It’s not selfish to want a balance between giving and receiving. Your well-being matters, and it’s okay to prioritize your needs.
Understanding why you feel compelled to please others and take on the role of mediator can help you address these patterns. Sometimes, these behaviors stem from a desire for approval or fear of conflict.
Identify what you can and cannot handle in terms of helping others. Setting clear boundaries about what you’re willing to do can prevent you from overextending yourself. When you need to set a boundary, be honest and direct. You can say something like, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, so I need to take a step back from mediating conflicts.”
Practice Saying No
Start Small: If saying no is difficult, start with small, manageable situations. Practice asserting yourself in low-stakes scenarios to build confidence.
Use “I” Statements: When you need to decline something, frame it from your perspective to avoid sounding confrontational. For example, “I’m not able to help with that right now because I need to focus on my own well-being.”
Prioritize activities that replenish your energy and bring you joy. Engaging in self-care can help you manage stress and maintain a healthier balance between your needs and those of others.
Remember, it’s not selfish to want to take care of yourself and set boundaries. Everyone deserves to have healthy, balanced relationships where their needs are also considered. By practicing self-care and assertiveness, you can work towards a more fulfilling and less draining social life. 😊
