Thanks for posting this Bel ❤️
I graduated and finished my HSCs this year, so thank you for the tips and honest insights about social life beyond school. About that third-wheeling situation: I've experienced something similar, except it was my friend and not me who felt like a third wheel because when she joined, she thought of me and my other friend as a pair already. But ngl after she joined us, when she's not there, it feels like something is missing. We have become a trio now, and we've never thought of her as a 'third-wheel'. So if you're feeling like you might be 'third-wheeling' like the odd one out, I'd say there's no need to 🙂. There must be reasons why you get along with those two, and something you bring to the friendship that they treasure and enjoy, even if it is simply your existence 😉.
I guess I'll add my 2 cents about what I learnt about friendships and loneliness in school~
The part about friendships needing effort to maintain is so true! At some point during the last few years of school, I was forgetting to talk to my friends and prioritising study and extra-curricular work. My friends were always starting the convos first and initiating our get-togethers. One of my friends brought this up, and honestly, I was annoyed at first, thinking they were disturbing me from my work.
Anyway, I started actively trying to chat with some friends or go out more to relax after each exam period. And wow.. I didn't realise how lonely and stressed I was making myself. In the second half of Year 12, I developed a strategy of going out to socialise whenever the study got too mind-numbing. This may not be for everyone, but for me, I feel that talking with friends is a necessity, and it really helps me to reset, destress and put life into perspective when things get overwhelming.
When I sit on the couch at home, I have a hard time imagining how comforting it is to see my friends in person, so it was easy to say no to a hangout. It took me a while to realise that talking online doesn't have the same effect. So if you're finding yourself in a similar situation, I'd say putting in the effort to start or restart convos and plan day outs is really worth it, and good friends often reciprocate and keep you in their thoughts as well. It might feel boring or like a waste of time, but for me, I never realised how lonely I was getting, and how much of a different and more resilient person I am once I got the socialising I needed.
