hey @Janine-RO  it was so good to see everyone today! i'm in my final two years of school, so we're back full time so we can focus on our studies.  thank goodness that's the way it is, because i know a lot of other people are still doing either 1 or 2 days a week of online learning. i hated it!   ... View more

thanks for replying @TOM-RO it's amazing to feel good in my school environment. i haven't felt like that in a long time! i don't think we're really on those terms anymore. we're really happy to see eachother when we get to.  i did get to see my friends today, we started back at school, so that was so good to see everybody!   ... View more

wow! nearly a year since i made this post. thank you all so much for your help last year.  i have a few updates! 1. i moved school and i love it more than words can say. it's not a drag, it doesn't make me upset, and i love my friends so much! 2. i asked him to take me to my year 10 formal, so he came with me (as friends). we actually had a really good time and made sure that i didn't go too wild hehe 3. i was in another show in arch and he booked tickets to come and see it, but it got cancelled because of the virus so he couldn't come.  4. he then turns up at my house during the holidays with A PRESENT. yep. you read that correctly. A PRESENT with a chocolate bunny and eggs and chocolate carrots galore. and not the garbage stuff either. cadbury and lidnt. wth?! 5. haven't spoken to his gf since i left the school. that's some unrequired baggage dropped at the gate :) i'm doing pretty good, which is a huge change to a year ago.  i'm just not liking being in quarantine all that much. i'm missing my friends and my show :(     ... View more

hey @Tiny_leaf  i hope you've been doing a little better, i think the art thing is really cool!  i tried painting once for five minutes and then realised I sucked at it :) i hope that someone loves what you create. the anonymity rule keeps everyone safe but i know i and many others would love to see your art! as a builder on here, i love how much care and input you put into these forums. you do incredible work, and i hope that through it it makes you feel good! i'm praying for you <3 love and hugs, blobby :)   ... View more

hey @musicfan_xo  that is so unprofessional and extremely disrespectful of the MH nurse. he should know better and at least have some empathy. he doesn't know what you're going through personally. that makes me so angry >:(  like @Tiny_leaf said, i think that you should definitely speak up about it, it's probable that he's been like that with others as well (not to disregard you of course :)) I hope you're ok today.  You've probably heard it a billion times before, but its a stressful time, and that can take an extra toll on you. I know it has for me, and probably many others.  i hope things get a lot better for you, and know that we're always here to support you when you need it :) love and hugs,  blobby :) ... View more

 @Bananatime04 , hope you've begun to feel a little better.  we were supposed to open a two week run for a show on wednesday. luckily we've only had to limit performances and tickets are prioritised for actors.  so it's really good, and tonight is our closing night.  it really makes you put things into perspective, but all I can really say is that 2020 is such a sucky year and it's only march. ... View more

hey guys! i love this quote from dolly parton: i love this idea so much!  love and hugs,  blobby :) ... View more

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx i am so glad that you've found your place as well! it feels so much better being with people who support you! i am 100% certain that you will be able to get through all this school work, it does appear to be a little tough at times, but i promise you will get through it! i believe in you! in terms of the crushes, it's so cool that he might like you back. it's never happened for me hehe hope you enjoy the rest of your night!  blobby xx   ... View more

hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx ! i know! it's been so long! i'm pretty good, just a rough couple of weeks this term. i did a post on it. i took a break in may last year to recollect myself, and it's been pretty crazy ever since! i finished at my old school and finished with my musical, and then moved to my new school! i've made so many friends and i feel like i belong in my place now. we then had musical auditions, and we're doing the same musical and i'm in the same role! so that's pretty exciting! how have you been? :) ... View more

everything ok @Bananatime04 ?   ... View more

hey guys! my name is blobby! and i really want a plate of chicken wings right now.  another interesting fact about myself is i am playing rizzo in grease the musical for the second time! 1. i want to meet new people so we can create an even bigger community here on RO! 2. it always helps to be confident and just go meet them and say hello! be kind, gracious and humble! works like a charm (somehow) 3. i am a little shy :) i find it a bit difficult to speak up sometimes, particularly in an environment where i don't know a lot of people.  can't wait to meet some people on this thread! love blobby <3 ... View more

thanks so much @Claire-RO  i'm feeling much better and in control this afternoon :) i don't have homework today so i've taken some time for myself, just checking my phone and watching some tv shows (there is so much tea on riverdale i don't even know where to begin!) i'm so glad there are so many people on here that care so much for others. it's so nice to come back to such a welcoming environment! i noticed that there's also some helpful threads as well on here, so I'll check those out. thanks so much again! blobby <3 ... View more

hey @Esperanza67 thanks for the support. I'm not doing too bad today. It's been a bit of a miserable, my friend passed away 3 years ago today and it's been a bit difficult. I miss her a lot. None of my friends were at school because they were at some decathlon thing.  i'm a bit chockas over the next couple of days, so i probably won't be on for a while.  talk soon,  blobby ... View more

@Tiny_leaf not too bad, just trying to get through the term. I'm tired and I've got a musical coming up, so that's exciting. Maybe thinking of starting up a musical fans thread. What do you think? ... View more

hey @Tiny_leaf , just wanted to check in and see how you are doing today? ... View more

I would like to be a builder, but I am not 16 until september and will be very busy until then.  is there a chance that i could talk about this later on down the track? love and hugs,  blobby :) ... View more

OMG @gina-RO you're kidding me! i'm gonna miss you so much!  Thank you for everything you've done for me on these forums. You ahve helped me to become someone i'm proud of and can keep (relatively) in control.  You have done so much fro these forums and we all love and will miss you so much! love and (goodbye) hugs,  blobby xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :(   ... View more

hey @Taylor-RO . it's having a large impact on me, I can't think about him because he makes me feel wrong and right at the same time. his girlfriend is just a massive pain and tries to be friends with me all the time, but i hate her. i want to move schools because of all the stuff i've had to put up with from my cohort for the last four years. I'm exhausted and i struggle to keep going sometimes. i've been telling people that mum wants me to go to a girl's school. I feel so blessed and lucky i get to move to such a wonderful school, but i'm having trouble getting out of this slump.  he hurts me by making comments about how i wear my makeup and do my hair, sometimes I don't want to shave my legs, so he decides to point it out. he likes to make fun of me if i make a mistake, but then he turns around and he's all huggy and like i'm his girlfriend! his girlfriend makes a lot of comments about me and my friends, saying that i've taken everything from her she "deserves" i.e my role in the musical, her place in the school band, and (possibly) her boyfriend. then she acts like i'm her bestie when she's with me. i'm so frustrated with the both of them. i can't want to just walk out and never look back its not overwhelming with all the questions, really it's helping me to get past it so i don't make a fool of myself in front of him.  ... View more

@ecla24 it’s been so frustrating. I was at his party last night and he was all over his gf. making out and all in front of everyone. Talk about gross. wanted to throw up the entire time just looking at them. he was supposed to be interacting with his guests and his parents weren’t saying anything. what a messed up 12 hours that was. not to mention I had musical practice with him and his gf the whole day until 3. I also found out some things that his gf has said about me. she told him that I had taken things from her that she deserved, for example in chapel band being centre stage, Rizzo in the musical etc. she sounds like a dying cat when she sings! and she’s pissed off because I’m better than her (not my words - other people’s) I just want to do the musical and leave . I don’t have the emotional capability to think about him anymore. Perhaps it will be easier to say goodbye ... View more

@ecla34 @Tiny_leaf  thank you both so much for you kind words - it means a lot :) i just don’t know how to keep it hidden and the fact that his 14 year old girlfriend is so bratty and self involved it doesn’t make it much easier. I have to find a way to keep it to myself because I am with him all the time. I am able to take a break - maybe even permanently - from this relationship because I am moving schools, and he is not happy about it. So making me feel awful about it isn’t great. I’m so glad I get to leave and start afresh :) have a good night xx ... View more

@Tiny_leaf I think that was @Eden1717 haha i think that climate change is a serious issue that affects the worlds ecological sustainability, and its affecting all aspects of biomes, ecosystems and biodiversity. We are running out of additional resource that we need, but by using additional resources more climate change is added.  I have a geography exam tomorrow on climate change and how it affects things or otherwise I would have no idea what I am talking about lol ... View more

@Tiny_leaf it's always sad when there is no cheese haha i had one with an english muffin today which was really good, but I like having them with white bread as well :) ... View more

i feel like i'm going around in circles and can't seem to get out of this loop where he hurts me and i go back to him. it makes me seem too dependent on him and my "friends" including my own friccken family tease me about it.  his gf is so annoying and i can't stand her and she just stays friends with me to keep him happy but she talks behind my back to him and he doesn't try to defend me.  i want to hit something and i've been crying non-stop today because i'm realising that i can't tell him what i want to say ever because he'll tell everyone and everyone will think that i'm a stuck up heartbroken little bitch.  i hate myself for this and i don't want to hurt anymore and the butterflies won't leave and the sick feeling won't leave and my head wont stop remembering and aching and my eyes won't stop crying and my heart won't stop bleeding. i feel like i'm being punched in the gut because he'll never like me.  ... View more

i like grilled cheese sandwiches :) ... View more

Thank you @Taylor-RO for that. I am moving schools for better opportunities such as my education, making proper friends, and more. I believe that my new school has plenty of that to offer! I also am playing Rizzo in my school’s production of grease, so there’s that to think about as well. Thanks for the help! love and hugs, blobby Sent from my iPhone ... View more

hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx  i'm so sorry about your situation. Jeff is an arse. I said it. He is.  Your flashbacks seem to be controlling you, and I'm sorry that they make you fell this way. Is there anyone you can talk to, such as a teacher or counselor? You seem to be going through a very rough patch.  Your angel side and demon side as you call them seem to be pulling you in two different directions. I understand where you are coming from, but I haven't figured out what to do about them either.  I hope things get better for you as time progresses. I'll have to talk later. I have some things I have to sort out.  love and hugs,  blobby  ... View more

hey @Eden1717  I am so sorry you are feeling this way, and I truly hope things get better for you soon :) I may have a few aids to help you out.  ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) is like a sensation you get from sounds you normally would notice, known as triggers, such as tapping, scratching and even eating. Anything you can think of, it will probably be a trigger. I don't get this sensation called "tingles", but it makes me very relaxed to get off to sleep. You can easily find it on youtube. If you'd like more info on it or who to start with, I am more than happy to help.  If ASMR isn't for you, I would recommend some meditations, a bedtime story, or even the sound of waves crashing. You can find these on apps such as calm or headspace. They even provide other helpful tools such as a breathing exercise and sleep timers.  Another solution would be a sleep tracker. If you track your sleep with an app such as Pillow, you can keep track of your movements during the night, any noises, and is even more reliable with an apple watch. It can keep track of your heart rate and breathing (or so I've heard). You can then take thins information to a GP or  doctor and get you some further assistance if your sleeping patterns are what you say they are. My brother is an insomniac, and he takes melatonin at night to help him fall asleep. Melatonin adjusts his body "clock" to tell him when to go to sleep.  In terms of your uni work, I recommend that you speak to your classmates/teacher in order to establish with them that you are falling behind. This may not seem like a good option to you, but I recommend it. They can help you find time to do your work.  Maybe try organizing a time table, and setting several alarms to reinforce the idea that once you are done doing something and that timer goes off, you move on to something else. I have at least 100 alarms in my phone to tell me how my routine goes.  i hope something in here maybe helped you.  try and relax tonight. It's been a long day for you.  I'm thinking of you :) love and hugs,  blobby :)     ... View more

hey @mspaceK  I'm sorry to hear your situation at the moment. It doesn't sound very fun :(.  Have you got a sleep tracker? I would recommend Pillow. You lay it donw on the mattress beside you, it records any sound you make during the night. Once you can get some information, perhaps you can see a doctor/GP and see if they can help you at all.  I would also download calm. Calm has got a lovely array of stories, meditations, sounds, a sleep timer and a breathing exercise to calm you down during an anxiety attack. Doesn't really work for me, but it may work for you. I may not be much help, but I'm thinking of you love and hugs,  blobby :) ... View more